Lost in Seattle

Sat, 01 Sep 2007 19:12:23 GMT

DONE.. but may need help
Current mood: sore

ok we all know that i have been friends with this individual for years and have had countless on again off again relationships with him

why? i don't know.. he makes me laugh, i thought he was a really good person, did positive things for society and the environment

but on this last trip to NY, even though i am still technically married the bald irish man decided it was a good time to profess love... ok .. i did'nt believe him but he continued to come around my house and break down my defenses.

in the long run we hung almost the whole trip. in the end a combination of me opening my mouth and he being weird prompted the usual frank lies jen gets pissed and does something stupid response.

Now lets really get into this

if it wasn't for me actually admitting to dating him the entire population of long island club goers would assume he is gay. i mean come on.

This is the only man that makes me feel nervous. The only one that makes me uncomfortable the only one that has put me throught constant bouts of pain and depression and i ask you WHY?

why is it that i never felt adequate ( after the first time) i thought there was something wrong with me WHOLY SHIT!! major decissions in my life have been made because of him

all of this over a lying **$less balding piece of shit and i could put so much more in but students may be reading. what a waist of time.

So now i ask you for your help .. under no circumstances am i to see this individual ..no telling him where i am, no telling when i'm coming to NY

and yes i am stupid for letting this happen again

and yea frank your right.. your not good enough for me never was, never will be so would ya just give up already and stay the hell away from me

the one thing that really sucks, i ve lost a great friend because he's an idiot!

long time no post

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 17:20:51 GMT

wow its been quite a while
well im married ...heheheh scary hu
back from my honeymoon ...a lovely cruise to england, week in london and a week in paris ... not to bad minus the insanity trying to fly out of england ( which was quickly switched to flying out of paris )

and yea thats about it ... just a really quick update
hope all is well with everyone :)

hmmm

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 20:59:36 GMT

you ever have one of those days when for no particular reason what so ever you just decide you want to go home and curl up with your cat, man, book ... you know what i mean . well im having one of those days.. i wanna go home .. i think it may have to do with my classes changing over. New semester = new kids ... the old ones are all sad and upset ...awww and its rubbing off on me

long time no type

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 20:54:10 GMT

sorry its been so long.. i've been on vacation ..in NY and ARUBA .., my yearly trip to the sun :)

but while in ARUBA on New Years Eve at 12:01 i got ENGAGED....hehehehe to my amsome man :)

yea!! im super happy and super excited

pictures to come i promise as soon as i figure it all out

super secret ninja post

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 21:56:59 GMT

just a quick update hope everyont had a great turkey day!! YEA TURKEY i made my 1 st turkey for me the man and the 2 psyco cats...yumm... w/ sweet patatos, salad stuffing and garlic mash ..yum dont forget the gravy and canberry sauce... lovely stuff in a can ..yummmmmm ahhh im on vacation from work and im already counting down to the next break ... sick hu but all in all everything is great out here and i'll be back in NY dec 17th hehe till then

back from the city

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 16:52:48 GMT

ah back from another trip to NY. this was a good productive trip hehee

i came in Aug 7th and immediately started taking care of things around the house, helping out my mom, hiding from my grandmother, helping Kerri anyway i could with her wedding and spending quality time with the sis. Then the man flew in on the 10th... we ran around NY with the posse causing havoc.. fantastic.

Then of to Vermont!... my sanctuary for 5 days of relaxation and exploration. i so love Vermont.. the best and a very close contender when i moved.. almost went to Burlington instead of Seattle. A quick drive back to NY and it was off to Hang with Kerri for her final run around of things to Do before the big day.

Kerri's wedding was AWESOME. She looked great, everyone looked great and everything went very smoothly ( although i stumbled through a bit of my speech) heheh. I wish kerri and jon the very best .... heheh

all and all the trip was great but im so glad to be back home with the boy on our houseboat.. Almost time for school, this year i got a permanent position teaching middle school art ... way cool ... enough travel for a bit.. i think ill stay home and relax for a while :)

Houseboat pictures

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 21:42:04 GMT

ahhh back and forth across the country

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 20:43:08 GMT

so i'm back in Seattle.. The boy and i have just moved into a houseboat next to gasworks park..... hehe very nice.. poor boy had to do all the moving while i was in NY .. no only did he move both of us, he cleaned my apartment got this place all set up and won the heart of my little stinkey kitty.. no to bad if u ask me ..

so as i get used to my new surroundings.. im packing at the same time to come back to NY .. yes ill be back saturday morning for another round of help the family.. along with getting set for Kerri's KA wedding and making a trip up to vermont ..woho !! this time i get to bring the boy so he can really be tourtured by u guys

ahh the insanity .. i'm glad to be comming back again but boy i'd like to sit and relax for a bit ... this flying all over is getting really annoying

hmmm thoughts to ponder

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 22:43:48 GMT

so i'm back in NY .. ahh yea the hood .. good to be back although i wish it was under better conditions .. by the way anyone want a CAT.. i have 8 that need good homes .,.. im taking 1 back to seattle but thats all i can do.
through out this whole thing i have been very very well supported by my friends and all i can say is thank you so much .. its been hard, but you guys have helped alot ..as im typing this on my dads computer... there is one thing though ..
i have friends that i know for 10 to 15 years ..and i know u know what happened... i am so dissapointed that not even a word, comment, e mail or phone call has been made to either i or my family. you have been in my house, eaten my food, meet my family and can't even extend a kind word.. if the shoe was on the other foot i'd do it for you and u know that ...
with this entire thing happening i have opened my doors to people i havent spoken too since 99.seen literally 100's of individuals from my past life and sure i havent told alot of people, but for those who know its a different story. death makes you think and try to catch up on all those u miss or lost in the paper work, its made me mend a few broken relationships and given me alot of frequent flyer miles, but most importantly it has reinforced me and who i am.
now i dont hate anyone, but without a doubt i am dissapointed in a few individuals. its a shame

woho!

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 17:53:11 GMT

Schools out for summer!!

i feel like such a kid... real glad im on vacation .. oh i needed a bit of a break .. but in 2 weeks i'll be like ...now what do i do .... oh yea go back to NY for the summer and help my mom with everything .. thats gonna be hard
i had a great time teaching out here.. not exactly sure whats gonna happen next semester as of yet but im sure it will all work out
HOUSE BOAT

oohh goody

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 04:51:24 GMT

i just signed a lease for a houseboat....***mmmuuuaaahhhhh hhhaaa hhaaa hhaaa****

kinda exciting in my world

thanks

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 01:50:30 GMT

thank you to all those people who came out and helped in my and my families time of need.
boy did we need it
thanks for all your kind words
and just thanks for being their
we wont forget it

i'll be returning to NY for most of the summer to help with everything
thanks again

not a good day

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 19:32:08 GMT

i'm posting this not for sympathy, but for all the people who knew him and either i can't get in touch with you or i'm to tired to

this morning my dad died

i'll be back in NY thursday morning, the house is opened to all
friday is the funeral.

ok you know my dad, strong. funny super smart guy who like to tourture my friends and my men. i can't even begin to go into this whole thing, i don't know where to start, i don't know how, but i do know i'll miss him alot
my dad helped everyone, taught us so much, and loved his two daughters more than anything in the world.
when i walked into his office with my masters degree, he was so proud he cried. i had only seen him cry once before, when his mom died.

i'm in total shock
but for those of you who are in ny and see this, check on my mom and sis will ya
and thanks in advance
talulatori@aol.com
much love

my poor kitty

Wed, 25 May 2005 00:00:12 GMT

my poor kitty, he had to go to the vet today, rotting tooth ..awwwww the big fang, looks like its got to go, but he has a great new vet in seattle that treats him soooo well ..awsome. He's gonna be fine although i was a bit concerned...hense he went to the vet.

David Cross, amazing show, kick ass company as usual. That guy is one funny mother fucker. The best stand up with him.... the british version of Saddam who played guitar HA!

VNV oh my god im so excited, even took of work the next day so i can stay the whole night. It is no where near sold out over here... interesting i tell you

oh boy oh boy... i like color

ohhh california

Mon, 16 May 2005 19:50:38 GMT

hehe
ok so i went to LA for the first time ... fantastic i tell you.. at least in small doses
while ot here i got to see Bari .. very cool been a year ..
experience the AMAZING industrial/ synthpop sceen...... wow ..just .wow... friendly fuckim people to
and of course i got the tour of beaches, shopping, randon star sighting and all that jazz
but most important i got to see
ERASURE!!!. gay man's mecca ... right up next to the stage in an open seating venue.. andy bell has aged quite a bit but boy was the show great!!.. with a bit of help, i'm gonna post some pics from the LA show !!
yea!

just random updating

Tue, 10 May 2005 00:55:52 GMT

lots of stuff happens to me. good, bad, & indifferent. just lots .. sometimes i wonder how i can be so lucky, so happy and so just me. I know i'm 1 lucky, very happy little fuck right now ... hehehehehe <------------- evil laughter of DOOM .. ok just though u should know ... much love :)

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 02:28:01 GMT

TORI TONIGHT!!!!

oh yea bring it on

tori tori tori tori tori tori tori tori tori tori

impossible to get tickets, one show only, got nose bleed seats but great company and its TORI!

super quick running post

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 04:25:53 GMT

ok i'm off to NY .. yea
hope to see everyone

this friday, April 7th were all going to Molly Blooms .. yea its cody but i'll be there and hope to see everyone

much love to the peeps..

yea!!

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 04:35:58 GMT

HAPPY B DAY TO MY WOMAN MICHELLE

HAPPY B DAY TO DERIK

and HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE ELSE !!

luv me :)

thought to ponder

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 03:32:25 GMT

"life is a roller coaster thats what makes it exciting"
is'nt it so true... if everything was the same everyday would'nt we get bored?

hehehehe

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 23:33:26 GMT

http://www.illwillpress.com/vault.html

just because i have to ....toooooo funny
play "foamys rant"

best b-day ever

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 06:36:40 GMT

ok so heres the deal
i've been staying w/ microsoft boy, while i'm getting my apartment in order
my b-day came and went, was really nice, dinner gifts all good
but than came friday .... dinner w/ his friends for my b-day all good ..very cool..on the way to the moroccan restaurant the boy had to make a stop ,,, as i sat patiently waiting in the car a knock came on the window... it was keri ann
yes microsoft boy flew keri in for the weekend to surprise me
i thought i was having a heart attack
i have never been so surprised
i'm one luck fuck i tell you

ok this is one of those things i hate

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 23:23:47 GMT

So as we all know i'm coming back to NY..due to numerous things aka no job..sucky man..sick dad..ok ..
well i actually met someone out here that i liked ..super synthpop industrial microsoft executive... nice combo if you ask me...happy jen ..well me being the way too nice chick that i am decides, before things get too sweaty , its only right for me to tell him that im going back to NY to help my family.. i dont care your so cool ya da ya da. Before anything happens i leave and tell him to make a decision on weather or not he wants to be tourtured for the last month i'm here or should we just hang out and cause mayhem about the masses...
Well now he's just being a dick ...i so hate this crap .. be a big boy and either act normal or deal w/ your emotion .. it's not my fault .. what you think i have no emotion not true im just a pro at this as we all know.. i dont like doing this shit i'm just better at it

Thank you for listening to me bitch... i feel better now aaaahhh

wow its a live journal

Wed, 15 Oct 2003 20:27:05 GMT

so i got one of these things to bitch to society with... i just moved to seattle and damit im bored and lonely